Are you leaving your child alone? Please consider these things before you do

Update: 2019-11-11 11:50 IST

Deciding if your child is ready to be left home alone can be a tricky decision.

There are lots of things to think about. Plus, there are no hard and fast 'home alone' rules or laws because every child is different. Whether you or your child are comfortable with the idea will often depend on how mature and adaptable your child is – and we all know how much this can vary from child to child.

The advice below is there to help you make up your mind about whether leaving your child home alone is a good idea, as well as tips for choosing appropriate childcare if you decide it's not.

We also give advice on what you can do if you're worried about a child who is being left at home alone.

Strange as it may seem, there's no set age for leaving children home alone. The law simply says that you shouldn't leave a child alone if they'll be at risk.

There's such a wide variation in the rate that children mature that it would be almost impossible to come up with a "one size fits all" law. Instead, the choice is left to parents. They know their children best and can use their own judgment.

Advice on leaving a child at home

Babies, toddlers, and very young children should never be left alone

Children under the age of 12 are rarely mature enough to cope in an emergency and should not be left at home alone for a long period of time Children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight

Parents and carers can be prosecuted for neglect if it is judged that they placed a child at risk by leaving them at home alone

A child should never be left at home alone if they do not feel comfortable with this, regardless of their age

If a child has additional needs, these should be considered when leaving them at home alone or with an older sibling

When leaving a younger child with an older sibling think about what may happen if they were to have a falling out - would they both be safe?

Are you leaving your child home alone ? Please consider these things before leaving a child alone

No one knows your child quite as well as you do – so use your knowledge of what they're really like to answer these questions. This won't give you a definite answer about whether the time is right to leave your child alone at home, but it'll certainly give you plenty to think about.

Does your child seem to be responsible and mature for their age and always do what you tell him or her?

Would they be able to fix themselves something to eat and drink and would you be happy with them using the cooker or microwave?

Can you imagine how they'd cope in an emergency like a power cut or a flooded bathroom?

Would they know what to do if the phone rang or someone came to the door?

Would they know how to contact you or another family member or friend if they needed to? Do they have these contact numbers to hand?

How would they feel about being left alone – pleased to be given the responsibility or scared by the thought of it?

But remember, if you or your child are even the teeniest bit unsure about leaving them at home on their own, it's always best to be on the safe side and arrange some other kind of care for them such as a babysitter or childminder.

If you decide to leave your child at home

SET SOME GROUND RULES

Like most things, it's best to talk everything through and set some ground rules when you're planning to leave them home alone. After all, it's probably going to be just as worrying for them as it is for you.

KNOW YOUR CHILD'S INTEREST IF THEY ARE OK TO STAY ALONE

First, and most importantly, you should have a chat about how they feel about being left alone. Talk about anything that's bothering them and discuss a solution. For example, they might be happier about being left alone if they know a neighbour's going to come and look in on them from time to time – it could help put both your minds at rest.

KNOW WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS WHEN YOU ARE OUT

It's also a good idea to talk about what they're going to do while you're out. For example, agree whether they can have a friend round or even go over to a friend's house.

You should definitely point out the risks of mentioning that they're home alone on social media as it's quite possible that all their online friends could take this as an invitation to come visiting.

MAKE SURE ABOUT THE TIME YOU WILL HEAD BACK

Make sure they're clear about what time you'll be getting back and how you'll let them know if your plans change. Leave all the numbers that you can be contacted on and also give them the number of a family member or friend in case they can't reach you or need some help straight away.

It's better to leave them for a short time at first, no more than 20 minutes, then build this up over time.

KEEP CHECKING ON THE CHILD OFTEN

While we're on the subject, we know you'll want to keep in touch with yourself. Give your child a call every so often. You could also ask a friend or neighbor to pop in and check, to put your mind at rest.

MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO DANGEROUS OBJECTS AT HOME

It hardly needs saying, but make sure that any potentially dangerous things like tools, knives, and medicines are safely out of harm's way before you go out.

Tips for choosing a babysitter

There's no legal age to babysit but you should really think carefully about using anyone under 16. Any younger and they might not be mature enough – or have the authority – to be in charge.

If they're looking after more than one child or a child with complex needs, think about if they're able to handle this

Ask them how they'd deal with situations like your child refusing to go to bed.

Get them together with your child and see whether they hit it off well – and afterwards ask your child how they feel about the sitter.

Ask the babysitter if they've looked after children often and whether they'd mind you speaking to other people they sit for.

Remember, there's nothing quite like a parent's intuition. So if you've got any doubts at all about a possible babysitter it's always best to find someone else.

Choosing the right childcare depends on both the child's and parent's needs.

There will be registered nurseries, childminders and after school clubs near you where you know your child will be safe, looked after and with other children.

If you have a child between two and four years old, you may be able to get free childcare from the government. 

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