Wedding bills!

It’s wedding season. We were looking forward to several weddings in our colony. However, there was a bit of a lull this year. ‘Apparently, most people postponed their weddings to a few years from now,’ said Subbu who had made some enquiries.

We met a few prospective grooms and brides in our colony. ‘It would be my dream come true if I had my engagement in an exotic place like Iceland,’ said one young bride could-have-been. ‘I never asked my parents for anything and I hope they can at least organise this destination engagement for me.’

‘So, what did your father say?’ asked Subbu.

‘He said something like @##$$. The only word I could make out was Ambani. I was relieved to hear that. We were on the same page. While saying those words his face turned purple and they rushed him to the hospital. The doctor said he was excited. Dad must be excited about the ideas we had suggested.’

‘What were your ideas?’ we asked.

‘The performers' list was my idea,’ gushed another groom-to-be. ‘If I’d left it to dad, he would have hired the local Star orchestra. Come on it’s my only wedding. I asked dad that Lady Gaga would not be a bad idea. That’s when he made funny sounds in his throat and went Goo…Goo. I kept telling him that it’s Gaga and not Goo…Goo. It took the doctor a few tranquiliser shots to calm him down. My mother told me to leave him alone until he returns from the ICU but I could see dad was getting the right idea. Goo…Goo.’

‘Is he ok now?’ we asked.

‘Well he was recovering until he spoke to my father in the next bed,’ said another young lass. ‘I had told my Dad that we will not order from Subhash Caterers for my wedding. I had identified the finest caterers from Paris. He muttered something about how he wished he was in Paris when I had been born. And stayed there. That’s very thoughtful of him I thought.’

‘That’s the lot then,’ we said. ‘Food, venue, performers...’ ‘Hullo,’ said another young bride. ‘What about celebs dancing in the background? I told dad we should look at something similar. Dad spun, staggered, and fell to the ground. Doctor uncle said he must have seen stars. I took that as a sign that he agreed to the dancing stars.’

‘Did he get up?’ asked Subbu.

‘Soon as I mentioned how a couple of ex-US President’s wives shaking a leg would be nice,’ said a prospective groom.

‘He got up instantly.’

‘That’s very nice but do you think your parents will be able to afford all that?’ we asked the youngsters.

‘Mine cannot for sure,’ said a girl from the back. ‘So, I am being practical. I don’t want the venue, food, Lady Gaga and the Presidents wives. All I want is that our film stars to come and serve food.’

‘How’s that possible?’ we asked.

‘Because the stars said they were related to the Gujarati bride’s family and it’s traditional for the family to serve.’

‘But you are not Gujarati,’ we pointed out.

‘They are not Ambani’s family either,’ she said. ‘Which means the celebrities have taken our Pledge to heart - that all Indians are my brothers and sisters. We are all family now. They cannot refuse us.’

‘Then why the five-year waiting period?’ we asked.

‘Firstly, because our respective dads have to recover,’ she said. ‘But more importantly, because all celebrities have dates issues.’

‘Busy people,’ we agreed. ‘Too many movies.’

‘No…no,’ she clarified. ‘Many weddings have already booked them now to serve food. They don’t have time to act anymore.’