Husband and wife need to respect each other

It was ennobling to read what Radhanath Swami says about the true spirit of renunciation, by considering every wealth - whether sentient or insentient, as the property of God and acting as a caretaker of it. He has lucidly echoed the message of the Shastras.

He is right in saying that it is a misconception on the part of a husband or parent when they think "this is my wife" or "this is my child". His reference to wife, echoing the message of our scriptures, is particularly relevant : "This wife is God's beloved daughter, entrusted in my care. And the way I serve God is by giving her respect, protection, appreciation and empowerment. This is what what God wants me to give his child". These words are worth their weight in gold, which every husband ought to remember, because the concept of "dharma-patni" is almost missing today.

A husband, no matter how learned, wealthy or professionally successful he might be, is unfit to perform the dharma-karyas without his wife. This is what our Sastras have ordained. A smart husband would comprehend this fact and tame an otherwise uncooperative wife by coaxing or some other strategem and ensure she's kept in good humour and gives her cooperation and participation(esp. in daily fire rituals like "aupaasana")! Humour apart, the divine gift that a wife is, is actually someone, who has renounced her house of childhood and come to dedicate the rest of her life to the service of an anonymous stranger.

Now, isn't it the bounden duty of a husband to protect such a defenceless person? How iniquitous on the part of some husbands to treat her as an object of carnal pleasures or domestic servant or ill-treating/abandoning(financially/otherwise) her due to his ego. But in order to realise all this, a male must be knowing before marriage itself about the primary and supreme role of wife as a "dharma-patni", then only he can sagaciously and constantly treat her or tame her as one, cleverly benefiting him as well as her in the process(a wife is automatically entitled to 50 per cent of all the punya accruing from her husband's performance of religious duties, even without her direct participation!

In any case, how cleverly have our ancestors devised a ritual, in committing a husband to the care of his wife, by making him promise in front of Agni no less, through the 3 "naathicharaami" promises! Husbands beware, Agni Deva is watching your uxorial track-record!. And that she is a precious gift lent to him by God as a privilege, only to be well-treated and returned intact to the original owner! Only then, a husband would do justice to his appellation of "pathi"/"bharta"i.e the one who bears(with enlightened forbearance, wisdom and authority and hence be able to reform his wife/family).

On the other hand, needless to mention, it is equally important for a wife to show a reciprocal responsibility and cooperation in making her marriage a meaningful, happy and lasting one. The keyword here for both the partners is "dharma" - constantly remembering whether a marriage is for dharmic fulfilment of purusharthas (or) for a hedonistic, rights-asserting and ego-tussles-filled life, aping alien cultures (where snoring, bad breath is also becoming a cause for divorce!). - C V Krishna Manoj, Hyderabad