The true victory!

Vijayadasami – is all about celebrating victory. Goddess Durga, the divine shakti (power) and her victory over the evil is what this auspicious occasion of Dasara all about.

The Goddess in all the forms 'Shailaputri', 'Brahmacharini', 'Chandraghanta', 'Kushmanda', 'Skandamata', 'Katyayani', 'Kaalratri', 'Mahaguauri' and 'Siddhidhatri' signifies qualities of bravery, absolute power, nature, bliss, happiness, care, courage, intelligence, vulnerability, calm, and ferocity.

It is a balance of the many characteristics that every woman is bestowed with that makes her what she is. As a daughter, mother, wife, grandmother, as a student, a career woman or a homemaker – whatever may be the profession, whichever may be the vocation, a woman, who is adept at multitasking (proven by research) works towards her goal with perseverance and dedication.

She may choose to stay at home and take care of the family, work to support the family, play sports, become an entrepreneur or work her way up the corporate ladder.

Every role is taken up with passion, and an inner urge to prove to herself and the world around that she can do it and do it well.

Is it ever enough? Does she feel a sense of victory at the end of it all? Is there ever a moment of satisfaction, a sense of achievement to dwell and ponder over?

We celebrate Maa Durga's victory over evil with such fervour and devotion. Do we the neo-Durgas, realise what we are fighting against.

Are we fighting against the ills in society, the obstacles that come our way in our life? Yes, we do fight them at all times.

But the real demon that we must fight with is within us. The Durgas of the world must fight a battle with this inner evil.

Inner demon that tells us nothing is ever enough

Sunita, a homemaker gets up at 5 in the morning. And from then on, until she sleeps at around 11 in the night, she is constantly working for her family.

Cooking for them, taking care of the chores, cleaning of the house, etc, feeding the children, in-laws, husband, and going to the bank to draw the money and discuss the education loan for her son, visit the school to pay the fees, go to grocery store followed by festival shopping, visiting the tailor, and before she knows, dawn turns into dusk, bringing back the routine of cooking and feeding the family.

And cushioned between these schedules are the festivals, marriages, the parties, home re-decoration…She is tired most of the times, but never allows it to show, and makes an effort to look good always.

She may postpone her doctor's appointment but does not miss a kitty party. Her happiness, a perceived one is based on the approval she gets from people around her – for the way she keeps her house, her cooking, her efficiency.

Her inner evil is this obsession for external approval, which many women crave for, and when they do not receive it become unhappy. And the pressure this puts on them keeps them unhappy and incapable of enjoying the smaller pleasures of life, affecting health as well.

Live for yourself and let go when things aren't going your way. Above all, kill the inner evil that puts others in front of your welfare.

This Dasara make a promise to yourself – to take care of your health; your peace and happiness are more important than anything else in life. Your happiness will then come from within, and you would not need others to make you happy.

That constant guilt

Sudha, on the other hand, is a working professional, and she is constantly unhappy. Her morning routine is a constant – cooking for the family, ensuring children go to school, keep the house in order and rush to office, come back, buy festive wear for the family on the way back, order groceries online even though she feels bad she may be missing out on great bargains that the local Kirana store may be offering, taking care of the family as much as possible, make children study, make sure that they eat their food, handle them as they throw tantrums – so much and more packed into her day.

Evidently, a day only has limited hours, and tasks get postponed to the next day. Frustration, lack of self-worth, helplessness and a feeling of guilt are just some of the many emotions, women go through in such situations.

The inner evil urges them to be a perfectionist, which is an impossible feat, to say the least. No one is perfect. And running around without a moment of respite, or rest will only make things worse. Kill that guilt of not being able to do enough.

Prioritise, and strategise! Be sensible and learn to let go. Life is short, and you have chosen to live it in a certain way.

And to be happy on your chosen path, you must learn to respect your choice and realise that it is only possible with a few adjustments.

And for this to happen, learn the secret of contentment. You are neither superwoman nor a divine being to miraculously do 100 things together.

The enemy within

35-year-old Pratima is a single independent woman, who is not averse to marriage. She has given up so much to make a success out of her career and reach the top of her league.

A successful career did not ensure a successful personal life. She did not choose to marry when she was young, and now she ends up choosing the wrong men.

She feels sorry for herself and is now ready to settle with a very controlling person, who is surely not the man she dreamt of marrying. What is wrong, she argues with herself.

It is fine to be submissive to a man, who loves you? Suddenly, a person, who is sure of herself, a taskmaster at work becomes this insecure and unsure person.

The evil that is within her is undermining herself. Not realising your self-worth is the worst of all ills. Undermining self, neglecting one's wishes and desires and settling for a toxic relationship is short-sightedness.

A lifetime of commitment must be based on trust and understanding. It is not just about women entering a new relationship, every woman must understand her self-worth.

A confident contended woman makes herself happy and spreads cheer in her family, and around her.

For a true victory, one must get over selfishness, jealousy, prejudice, hatred, anger and ego, and a woman, especially must win over her own prejudices, self-doubt, unnecessary guilt.

And above all must win over her conditioning to be submissive, and stop judging herself, and other women around her based on the expectations of society or her peers. It is only by being true to herself, that a woman will triumph in life.