20 Questions to Ask you Ex Post Breakup

The sorrowful period directly after a breakup is one of the most emotionally taxing times, you would ever experience. Well, your well meaning friends, might tell you not to dwell in the past, perhaps, a walk down memory lane is just what you require.

Reflecting on your relationship after a breakup might be beneficial, with that in mind, let us take a look at some of the questions to ask your ex when you next see him.

1. What did you appreciate about the relationship?

You must face it, few relationships are all bad, begin reflecting on what worked well in yours before your breakup. When we are able to appreciate what was good or what we learned, it helps us have closure.

2. Is there anything you want to apologize for

Sorry is the hardest word to say, but when you utter it after break, it may help in healing and move on. It also helps us let go and own our own part.

3. Did you like someone else?

Of course, there is one major question to ask your ex, but you must really think hard before you do so. Some people want to ask this question, but they do not want to hear the answer. You must think, what the benefit is to you for any of the questions you are going to be asked. -

4. Did you ever cheat on me?

It might hurt, but finding out if your ex cheated could help you identify other problems in the relationship. If it is over, do you want to know, whether the person cheated or not, sometimes, it does help, not that you are blame for your partner cheating, but is there a way that you both co-created this environment?

5. Who did you cheat with?

If you find out that your ex cheated, there are few assumptions, you want to avoid. Usually, whenever, you make assumptions, it is worse than you think, it is going to be. So, you assume that the other person is better than you at everything, how they look, how they speak, find out the truth about the person could help.

6. Why do you think we broke up?

Of course, you already know why you think the breakup happened, but it might help to get your ex's perspective. However, you must prepare yourself for a tricky answer. If you really want to know the answer, ask the question. But the kind of answers, you might get might be, well, you just were not paying enough attention or I just feel out of love with you.

7. Did I give you enough attention?

Everybody needs to feel loved so asking this simple question could reveal a lot. What can happen is that at the start of a relationship, people pay their partner a lot of attention but after time they may give up. They stop paying their partner so much attention. That can be useful to note and understand. We all like to be appreciated.

8. Or Did we give too much attention

On the other hand, it might be that, you were too giving. In few relationships, one partner o over devotes themselves. In those cases, you might find that one partner seems to be trying hard and other seems to be grumpy.

9. Do you feel bitte after breakup?

Are there any lingering feeling of resentment here? If you were in a relationship, where one person had an affair, you might be understandably bitter about the relationship. It might be very helpful to do some work to heal the hurt. You might require help from a third party or counsellor do that.

10. What did I do wrong ?

It is all worth reflecting on, this would help people, to find love again and they will not same mistakes, such as being insecure or overly jealous, I will ask them if they see the pattern in their behavior.

11. What will you take into your next relationship?

Learning what went wrong in a relationship may be hard work, but it can help you a better partner in the future. One question to ask your ex could be what have they learned and what will they take into their next relationship. Some things, I have heard from people I work with include, I would not be so insecure or I would trust them more.

12. Were you unhappy with me?

Sometimes, relationship do not end because someone cheats or does something awful. They end because people are unhappy, finding out how your ex felt could help you spot similar signs in the future. The important thing to listen in a relationship is whether someone is telling you, they are unhappy.

13. Did you have enough support from others

There is a theory that a relationship is only as good as the relationships you have around you. Did you both, have the support you required in terms of your family, friends or other professionals. Asking this question might help you gain a deeper understanding of what went wrong in the relationship and why you broke up.

14. Do you think I have changed

People change, so finding out as to how your ex sees you now might be a positive move. Women and men will say, you are not the person I met or we now want different things. But you have to work out whether you changed or whether you just settled down, as most people do. It is about being realistic about the answers you get.

15. Did I take enough care of myself

it might seem like an overly literal question to ask your ex, but this candid question could help you in the future. There are partners who do not wash enough. Someone might not realize that it is nice for their partner if they have a shower first. If they do not account of that, It can affect things in the partnership.

16. Was there something missing from the relationship?

Often enough, couples break up simply because there is something vital missing. For example, one person might not feel that they get enough affection or support. You might ask, was there anything that was missing that I could have given you? Or Do you have a sense of what else I could have given you?

17. Did the relationship serve its purpose ?

There is nothing to say that any couple has to stay together forever. Sometimes, couples breakup because the relationship, no longer fits their lifestyle or desires. That is perfectly okay. It must just be good for that time. But you can look at whether that relationship fulfilled its contract of the time and celebrate that.

18. Were there underlying issues we ignored?

Was there something deep and dark simmering under the surface of your relationship? Perhaps there was a niggling issue that you both ignored. Having these conversations can be so useful in helping you move on. Once you have stated enough and been heard enough then it can feel that issues can be laid to rest.

19. How will our breakup affect other people?

Believe it or not, breakup rarely involves just two people. Everyone from your friends and family to your children will have to learn to cope with the new situation. While you are discussing your relationship with your ex, it could help to consider how the breakup affected others and what you can do to make it easier on them.

20. Can we still be friends

While you are saying your goodbyes, there could be something else on your mind. Can you be friends with your ex? It is really possible with a lot of work. Again, everything depends on each individual relationship and safety is the key. If someone is coming out of violent relationship, staying friends witht heir ex is dangerous. Safety has to come first.