Are friends better than relatives?

In today's modern times, age old norms and beliefs are being broken and new ideas and opinions are coming forth, exploring different dimensions of human relations, traditions, values and life in general.

New concepts are arising and people are becoming open to different kinds of ideologies. The big question that arises in minds many times is Are friends better than relatives?

Do friends' value and appreciate each other more than what relatives do? Are there fewer complications arising while bonding and maintaining that special bond with friends?

Do our relatives take us for granted and make our life miserable at times by their expectations and demands? Is it a fact that youngsters today enjoy the company of friends more than the company of relatives?

There are certain issues which are considered acceptable and certain factors which are objectionable as regards human relationships and understanding.

There are several views that we have taken from a few Hyderabadis. Anju Rao, a lecturer, says, "I feel that good friends are definitely better than bad relatives! Relatives can be very competitive and there also might be an element of jealousy between them but between friends it is all about mutual admiration and mutual appreciation as that is the basis of all friendships.

Also, one's relatives can take you for granted and expect certain things without your knowledge! And that can be really irritating! So, I feel that to a large extent, friends are better than relatives specially the ungrateful ones!" Similar views are not shared by Dr Madhu, a dentist by profession, "I feel relatives are definitely more about sharing and caring while friends are just about time pass! Blood is thicker than water and there is no denying that.

I agree that youth today is not very relative minded but how can all their views be acceptable? I have two sisters and I am really very fond of them. We bond as best friends and I don't need friends. My sisters are my best friends and I can also say that good friends might be close but in real times of need, only close relatives come to help."

Well, it is a matter of opinion and it seems that everyone has a different one! The age group makes a lot of difference and the views of the present generation differ from views of the older generation.

A city- based counsellor says, "One thing is understood that one can choose ones' friends but we cannot choose our relatives. We are born with them and are linked to them for life! It would not be too wise to make judgment and decide for others.

Maybe some individuals have had it rough with their relatives and feel that friends are better as there are lesser expectations in such bonds. One might be very lucky and have a very close circle of friends who are not only good but also helpful.

It is best to be open in your views and remember that those who help us in times of need are really the persons closest to us. In the modern times the friends have become extremely important and friendships are cherished like never before.

I have many clients who have lots of grievances against their relatives and I advise them that if you learn the art of saying NO, it would make life simpler and easier and for all of us and the world will be a better place to live in."

So, the simple thing is that all good friends and all relatives are not good and all are not bad only every individual has to make a choice wisely and in times of need it is easy to make out who is genuine and who is not!