Take all with grace, equanimity

One of the most fascinating persons I ever met in life was the legendary Abid Hussain. A distinguished civil servant, successful diplomat, much-loved socialite in the Delhi party circuit, and a lovable specimen of the Hyderabadi ‘tehzeeb’, Abid Saab was more of a phenomenon than a person; I had the good fortune of enjoying a cordial relationship with him for several decades. We were chatting at one of those memorable get-togethers arranged by Peter Hasan, Abid Saab’s nephew, my contemporary in All Saints High School Hyderabad, and a well-known, charismatic and affectionate host for several decades in Delhi. I was, at that time, posted as a Joint Secretary in the Ministry of Agriculture of the Government of India. Recalling his long and spectacular career, Abid Saab advised me to try and find a placement in one of the agencies of the United Nations Organization, as he felt that a career in the civil service was not complete without such an experience. That set me thinking about what I ought to aspire for, before I retired from service, some years later.

It is the hope of every IAS officer to rise to the level of the Cabinet Secretary to the Government of India, the highest post a civil servant can hold in the country, while in service. Similar ambitions are nurtured by people belonging to other services. An officer belonging to the Indian Police Service (IPS), for example, regards the post of the Director of the Intelligence Bureau as the pinnacle of his, or her, career. Likewise, officers belonging to the Indian Foreign Service (IFS) regard the post of the Foreign Secretary in the Government of India as the ultimate in their ambition. Becoming the Chairman of the Railway Board or Central Board of Direct Taxes or the Central Board of Customs and Excise is, similarly, the ultimate destination for officers of the Railway Services or Revenue Services.

While the examples so far mentioned represent the peaks of the careers in the vertical direction, there are many other avenues which persons belonging to the various All India, and central, services, which are coveted destinations, while in service or thereafter. Those include serving as an Ambassador, or High Commissioner abroad, being a Governor of one of the states in India, occupying constitutional positions such as the Chief Election Commissioner or the Comptroller and Auditor General of India, or positions under such as the membership of the National Disaster Management Authority (NDMA), the Chief Executive Officer (CEO), of Niti Aayog, or the Chairperson of the Competition Commission of India.

Having retired close to two decades ago, and having, after superannuation, served as a member of the NDMA, I find, on reflecting upon my career, that there is little cause for disappointment.

The New Year’s Day is celebrated, in different parts of India, on different dates, according to the Hindu calendar. In the Telugu speaking states, it is called Ugadi or the beginning of a new era. On that day a chutney is made of various ingredients such as tamarind, mango, fenugreek, sugar cane and jaggery, the various tastes such as sweet, sour, bitter supposedly representing the different experiences one may be called upon to face in the year to come. The idea is to prepare one to face with equanimity whatever there is in the future.

Equanimity is a word, the meaning of which I first understood, while studying Sanskrit as a subject, in the Pre University Course, at Nizam College in Hyderabad. The Bhagavad Gita was part of the syllabus and the word occurs in the chapter related to Karma, Yoga. Lord Krishna, in the Gita, counsels the Pandava warrior, Arjuna, to inculcate that quality, and learn to remain at peace within environment, while performing one’s duty without any sense of attachment to the consequences there of.

As I continued contemplation of my past I recollected that I had tasted a variety of experiences. Victory and defeat, for example, as well as exhilaration and depression. There were many moments of extreme satisfaction, also disappointment. Unbearable pain and exquisite pleasure also had come my way, as did generous praise and bitter criticism, sometimes even unwarranted. While in service, I found people who valued discipline, and compliance, with the imperatives of the environment, as well as those who were habitually rebellious by nature. In my relationship with my superiors, my subordinates and peers, I had tasted both unstinting support and stout dissent. I had gone through periods of robust health, participating vigourously in various physical activities, but also punctuated by spells of sickness, sometimes of an acute nature.

The most intriguing aspect of it all is that I now find, on reflection, that I am able to recollect all those phases with a sense of fulfilment.

While I received abiding love, and affection, from my parents, siblings, wife, and children, there were occasions when I was the target of dislike, bordering even on hatred for some persons, largely on account of the circumstances in which those people found me enjoying what they were denied.

One thing every person craves for is companionship, and the sense of assurance, and comfort, that goes with it. Easily the most valuable gift I received, in my life, has been the gift, of many close and understanding friendships. And, while on the subject of friendship, I cannot help recollecting Oscar Wilde saying, about George Bernard Shaw, that Shaw was an excellent man, having no enemies, but that none of his friends liked him!

I can think of no better way of ending this piece, than borrowing an expression from the inimitable ‘Performing Flea’, of English literature, P G Wodehouse. In his rib-tickling novel, ‘The Code of the Woosters’, Wodehouse describes one of the characters in the novel as being “If not actually disgruntled, …. far from being gruntled”. I am happy to be able to say that I came nowhere near that kind of feeling any time in my life!

(The writer is formerly Chief Secretary, Government of Andhra Pradesh)