Consideration: The missing core in our society?
A silent erosion is taking place in our society. It is not economic, technological, or political. It is emotional. We are steadily losing one of the most fundamental human qualities that sustain civilisation, consideration. When patience declines, when mutual respect weakens, when empathy becomes selective, and when self-interest dominates public behavior, disorder becomes normalised.
Observe daily life in any Indian city. People cut queues without hesitation. Drivers block intersections, fully aware they are paralyzing traffic behind them. Individuals crowd a personal space without awareness. Public conversations are loud and intrusive. Vehicles are parked across entrances as though convenience is a personal entitlement. There is a constant rush to move ahead, to secure advantage, to occupy space, regardless of the inconvenience caused to others.
This pattern is not about poor manners. It reflects a deeper emotional deficit. We are not witnessing isolated acts of indiscipline. We are seeing weakening of internal restraint. The willingness to pause and consider the impact of one’s actions on another person is diminishing. When that pause disappears, chaos becomes culture.
The most worrying aspect is that this is no longer episodic. It is generational. Children observe adults’ bending rules and equating smartness with aggression. They see fairness compromised in the name of efficiency. They internalize the message that speed is superior to order and advantage is superior to empathy.
Emotional patterns are absorbed through modelling, not instruction. We are inadvertently institutionalizing inconsideration.
Consideration as an emotional intelligence deficit:
As someone who works extensively in emotional intelligence, I view consideration as a composite emotional competency. It is not a soft virtue. It is the outcome of three essential skills-empathy, impulse control, and social awareness.
Empathy enables us to sense the inconvenience or discomfort our actions may cause others. Impulse control allows us to restrain the urge to prioritize ourselves at someone else’s expense. Social awareness helps us understand that public spaces are shared ecosystems governed by mutual respect. When these three competencies weaken, inconsiderate behavior becomes instinctive.
Many defend our disorder by pointing to population density. This explanation is inadequate. Population is structural. Discipline is psychological. Several densely populated nations maintain order because consideration is culturally embedded. Their citizens regulate themselves. Systems function smoothly because internal restraint is stronger than external enforcement.
We frequently debate whether India is developed or developing. We celebrate economic growth and technological achievement. Yet development must also be measured behaviourally. A developed society is one where individuals wait their turn even when no authority is watching, where traffic rules are followed out of conviction rather than fear, and where silence in shared spaces is respected instinctively. If public systems collapse without constant policing, emotional development remains incomplete. Third World is often interpreted economically, but it also reflects behavioral culture. When civic order depends entirely on surveillance, when rules function only under threat of penalty, and when shared norms are weak, society
has not matured emotionally. No nation can police its way into greatness. It must emotionally evolve into it.
The cost of inconsideration:
The consequences of this deficit extend beyond daily inconvenience. Inconsideration compounds. When one person cuts a line, others feel justified in doing the same. When one driver violates rules without consequence, imitation follows. Soon, fairness appears naive and restraint appears foolish. That is the tipping point of civil decline.
This dynamic erodes social trust. Friction increases. Time is lost in chaotic traffic. Productivity declines in disordered environments. Emotional stress rises in avoidable situations. We bleed progress through behavioral inefficiency. There is also a reputational cost. Increasingly, there is backlash against Indians globally for perceived lack of social awareness and civic discipline. Complaints about queueing behavior, noise levels, disregard for shared spaces, and traffic conduct are no longer rare. Instead of introspecting, we often react defensively.
National pride cannot substitute for civic responsibility. If our social management skills are weak, our global credibility suffers. Consideration is foundational to social awareness and social management, two critical emotional intelligence competencies. Without consideration, we fail to anticipate the impact of our behavior. Without anticipation, we create discomfort and conflict. Reputations, whether individual or national, are built on predictable, respectful conduct. When unpredictability and self-interest dominate, respect declines.
Reinstating consideration as a civilizational value:
Restoring consideration requires deliberate cultural correction. Families must model respectful behavior consistently. Parents cannot preach patience while practicing aggression. Children absorb behavioral norms through observation.
The responsibility begins at home. Schools must treat civic conduct as seriously as academic achievement. Discipline must be reframed as self-regulation rather than fear-based obedience. Students should understand that professionalism and citizenship are rooted in emotional maturity, not merely intellectual capability.
Organisations must elevate professionalism beyond designation. Respect for time, shared space, and process must become non-negotiable standards. Public campaigns should address behavioral literacy as directly as they address sanitation or digital awareness. Honking should not be normalized as am expression.
Queue discipline should not be seen as optional courtesy. Silence in shared environments should not require enforcement.
Most importantly, consideration must become aspirational. It must be reframed as disciplined strength rather than passive compliance. It requires confidence to yield space. It requires maturity to wait. It requires self-mastery to restrain advantage when no one is watching. Our civilizational heritage emphasizes self-control, dignity, and mutual respect. Philosophically, we are not deficient. Practically, we are inconsistent. If we aspire for global leadership, behavioral maturity must accompany economic ambition.
The transformation begins with a simple pause. Before acting, we ask how our behavior affects another person. That pause is the birthplace of social order.
When enough individuals practice it consistently, systems stabilize and trust rebuilds. A nation does not become developed merely by increasing wealth. It becomes developed when its citizens internalize responsibility toward one another.
Consideration is not ornamental. It is foundational. If we restore it consciously and collectively, we will not only improve daily civic life, but we will also elevate our national character. And that elevation will define whether we remain crowded or become truly cultured.
(The writer is Chairman of Nation Building Foundation, a BJP leader, expert in Emotional Intelligence and a Harvard Business School certified strategist)
