The emotionally intelligent leader: Building self-awareness, empathy, and clarity

The emotionally intelligent leader: Building self-awareness, empathy, and clarity
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Great leaders do more than make smart decisions-they also guide the feelings of their teams. This special ability is called emotional intelligence. Leaders with emotional intelligence understand their own emotions and also sense how others feel. They can control their reactions and connect with people on a deeper level.

But where does this skill come from? Experts believe emotional intelligence comes from a mix of natural talent, life experiences, and training. Some people are born with it, while others learn it over time.

Leaders who use emotional intelligence well can inspire teams, build trust, and create positive workplaces. When used wisely and kindly, emotional intelligence helps leaders and their organizations perform better and reach their goals more smoothly.

In short, emotional intelligence is the heart behind smart leadership.

Discover your emotional intelligence as a leader

Strong leaders lift others up-they inspire, encourage, and bring out the best in people. How do they do this? They use emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence means understanding your own emotions and being aware of how others feel. To grow as a leader, you need to develop skills like self-awareness and empathy. These help you connect with your team and respond wisely in different situations.

To begin improving your emotional intelligence, it’s important to know your current level. One simple way is by taking a questionnaire. Read each statement carefully and honestly select how often it applies to you.

This activity can highlight your strengths and show where you can grow. Developing emotional intelligence takes practice, but it will make you a more thoughtful and effective leader.

Take the first step-lead with care and clarity.

Know yourself, lead better: the power of self-awareness

Great leadership begins with self-awareness. Understanding your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours helps you make better decisions, connect with others, and respond calmly under pressure. When you know yourself well, you lead with clarity and confidence-creating trust, inspiring your team, and driving success from within.

Why understanding emotions is the first step to control

Emotional intelligence is widely accepted as essential in today’s workplace. But truly managing emotions isn’t easy—and here’s why. First, many people still aren’t fully sure what emotions really are. Second, even when we think we understand them, it’s often hard to handle our own emotional reactions in real-time.

Let’s break it down. In everyday conversation, we often mix up emotions and feelings, but psychologists make a clear distinction. Feelings (also known as affect) come directly from our brain’s motivational system. You feel good when you’re moving toward your goals and bad when you’re blocked or failing.

Emotions, on the other hand, are your mind’s interpretation of those feelings. The stronger your emotional response, the more deeply involved your motivation is. Understanding this connection is the first step in managing your emotions-and becoming a smarter, more emotionally intelligent leader.

Find the right words: Building a better emotional vocabulary

Being able to handle emotions well is a powerful leadership skill. The first step is learning to name your emotions, a process called labelling. But this isn’t always easy. Many people find it hard to clearly say what they are feeling. Sometimes, the first word that comes to mind doesn’t really fit.

Why is this so challenging? Often, we’ve been taught to hide strong emotions. At work or in society, there are often silent rules about not showing how we feel. Also, many of us never learned the right words to describe our emotions clearly.

In workplaces, words like “anger” or “stress” are commonly used. But these can be covers for deeper emotions-like fear, hurt, or frustration. If we learn to express our feelings more accurately, we become more emotionally flexible.

This skill, called emotional agility, helps us better understand ourselves and handle situations wisely. It strengthens our relationships and makes us stronger, more thoughtful leaders.

Say it clearly, feel it deeply: The power of naming emotions

Words have power-especially when it comes to emotions. When you feel something strongly, pause and ask yourself, “What exactly am I feeling right now?” Don’t settle for just one word like “angry” or “sad.” Go further. Try to find two more words that also describe your feelings. You may discover that what seemed like one emotion is actually made up of several.

For example, if you say, “I’m stressed,” dig deeper. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Frustrated? Maybe even afraid? This simple habit of naming your emotions more precisely helps you understand what’s really going on inside you.

Often, the first emotion we notice is just the surface. Beneath it, there may be deeper feelings waiting to be seen. When you can name those, you gain clarity and control. You start to respond to situations more wisely rather than react suddenly.

Expanding your emotional vocabulary doesn’t just help you-it improves your communication, your relationships, and your ability to lead with empathy and strength. The more words you have for your emotions; the more power you have over them.

The language of emotion: A powerful tool for clarity, connection, and control

In the fast-paced world of leadership and communication, recognizing and naming emotions is not just helpful-it’s essential. Emotions shape our thoughts, influence our actions, and deeply affect how we interact with others. Yet, too often, we reduce complex feelings to vague terms like “angry” or “sad,” missing the rich spectrum of emotional experiences that lie beneath the surface.

To navigate personal and professional challenges with wisdom and empathy, we must broaden our emotional vocabulary. The more precisely we can name what we’re feeling-be it frustrated, betrayed, vulnerable, or elated—the more power we gain over our responses. This clarity fosters emotional intelligence, enhances self-awareness, and improves decision-making.

Consider the difference between feeling “annoyed” versus “betrayed,” or “worried” versus “confused.” Each word carries a unique emotional tone and calls for a different kind of support or reflection. Whether you’re a team leader, colleague, or communicator, having the right words enables you to respond thoughtfully, not just react impulsively.

By expanding our emotional vocabulary, we don’t just analyse situations more accurately—we build deeper connections, resolve conflicts more gracefully, and lead with greater authenticity and emotional agility. This list is your toolkit for that transformation.

Mastering emotions, empowering connections

A key component of emotional intelligence is the ability to name and articulate emotions accurately. This is where emotional vocabulary becomes important. Having a rich emotional vocabulary-knowing the difference between feeling “irritated” versus “angry” or “anxious” versus “nervous”-allows for more precise expression and understanding of one’s inner world.

Developing emotional vocabulary enhances self-awareness and empathy, helping people navigate complex emotional situations with clarity and compassion. It empowers individuals to respond rather than react, contributing to greater emotional regulation and conflict resolution.

Expanding your emotional vocabulary is more than just learning new words-it’s about gaining insight, building empathy, and leading with intention. When you can accurately name what you feel, you gain the clarity to understand yourself and the compassion to connect with others. This skill strengthens relationships, improves communication, and helps you navigate challenges with emotional maturity. Whether in the boardroom, classroom, or everyday life, knowing the right word can transform a moment of confusion into one of understanding. Let this emotional vocabulary be your guide to greater self-awareness, deeper connection, and more effective, human-centered leadership in every situation you face.

(The writer is an Assistant General Manager -

Corporate Communication at Sai Wardha Power & Post-Doctoral Fellow in Media, Srinivas University, Mangalore)

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