Home Away From Home

Family of a mother, father and kids is like a cocoon where kids feel protected and cared for at all times. As time passes and the children begin to grow up, education and career opportunities for them become a matter of greater relevance.

One has to think wisely and help the children decide well for a beautiful future and good career ahead. At times this might mean moving over to a new place. Children might have to then leave their homes and move over to a hostel.

Hostel life is an entirely new life style to which children must adapt. It is an exposure for children in different kind of a way by which they not only become more independent but also more responsible. Many times in real life, hostel seems to be the best solution for children as regards their safety and education.

Take the instance of Col. Sharma and his wife, Nirmal. The couple had to send both their sons to a hostel due to frequent transfers of Col. Sharma in the infantry. Says Mrs. Nirmal, "We were really concerned about our children's education once they reached higher classes of tenth and twelvth.

Both our boys were intelligent and we did not want them to suffer academically on account of our postings. Yes, it was a tough decision for both my husband and me and it involved a lot of maturity and practical understanding of the entire situation.

It was also difficult to explain to our sons that we were not tearing them away from us but the decision was in their interest. After the initial battle was won, we left them and then I found myself suddenly very lonely…..

Then very gradually things began to stabilise and today I feel that our decision was correct. Both my sons are engineers and doing very well for themselves. The elder one, Ashish is in Bangalore and visits us often while the younger one, Aditya, is in Canada and we have been there twice.

Sometimes the family needs to handle tough situations and hostel training and up-bringing makes the children independent and matured too."

So sending your child to hostel need not be an emotionally shattering experience but a decision made to tackle a situation. Says Susan Shullai, a software engineer, "My situation was a little different.

After my divorce, I was unable to manage the office and the home front, so on advice of family and friends, I sent my daughter to a hostel. Initially I was really prejudiced against sending your kid to hostel but later I was amazed to see the positive changes in her.

We met once in a month and she came home for all her holidays. She began to value home life and helped me a lot in kitchen work too. I could observe her changing from a moody teenager into an understanding and matured adult.

After her schooling, she came back home and is now doing her graduation from Guwahati. I can say that my daughter Rachael and I are more like friends and have a great time together.

We discuss many issues and sometimes she takes correct decisions for both of us! She even tells me to find a new partner! Anyway that's beside the point but the up-bringing in hostel did a lot of good for us. I feel hostel life really teaches you a lot. You can deal with a lot of situations and cope up better in life."

So, it seems packing off your children to a hostel need not be a sob story! It might even be the best option available at times, wise and good both for the child and the parents.

Stability, discipline, self-control, decision making, independent outlook in life, career development, these are some of the good points advocated to send your child to a hostel.

Of course, each parent is the best judge and sometimes there is no need to pack off your kid to a hostel. But if the decision has to be taken, dear parent, free yourself of guilt, check out all the facilities before hand, be sure that the hostel has a good reputation and of course that child is mentally and emotionally prepared to go to a hostel. Hostel life can be loads of fun!