From a very young age, many children hear phrases like “Girls shouldn’t speak loudly” or “Boys shouldn’t cry.” These may seem like harmless cultural sayings, but they profoundly shape how children view themselves and others. As modern parents, educators, and caregivers, it’s time we ask: Should we still be repeating these messages in 2025?

Where these messages begin

Most adults who say these things don’t mean harm. Often, they’re simply repeating what they heard growing up. For instance:

• A girl speaking confidently might be told, “You’re a girl, talk softly.”

• A boy feeling emotional might hear, “Be strong, boys don’t cry.”

These phrases are usually used to control behavior in public or to shield kids from being judged. But over time, they subtly send the message that expressing certain emotions is wrong — or worse, shameful.

How it affects girls

When girls are constantly told to be quiet or overly polite, they may grow up:

• Afraid to speak up or voice opinions.

• Feeling they must always adjust, even when it’s unfair.

• Hesitant to express anger, frustration, or assertiveness.

• Losing confidence in leadership or decision-making roles.

This often leads to people-pleasing behavior, low self-esteem, and difficulty setting boundaries — challenges that only grow in adulthood.

How it affects boys

Telling boys not to cry teaches them:

• That sadness, fear, or vulnerability is a weakness.

• That anger is the only acceptable emotion.

• That emotional expression is “unmanly.”

As adults, such boys may struggle to build emotional connections, manage anger, or express their needs — often feeling isolated without understanding why.

The bigger problem: Emotional suppression

All children, regardless of gender, need permission to feel, express, and process emotions. When we deny them that, the long-term effects can include:

• Anxiety or depression.

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships.

• Poor stress management skills.

Children who aren’t taught to express emotions grow into adults who either suppress everything or explode over minor issues.

What Can We Do as Parents and Caregivers?

• Allow emotions. Let your child cry, laugh, or express frustration — it’s all normal and healthy.

• Avoid gendered labels. Don’t say “like a girl” or “like a boy” when talking about emotions or strength.

• Model emotional expression. Show them it’s okay to cry, apologize, express joy, or speak calmly when upset.

• Use empowering language. Encourage boys to be kind and girls to be bold.

• Teach emotional vocabulary. Help them name their feelings: sad, scared, excited, angry — and teach them how to handle each one.

The world is evolving — and our parenting must evolve too. Every child, regardless of gender, deserves the freedom to express their full emotional range.

Let’s raise a generation thatisn’t afraid to cry, isn’t silenced when speaking up, and grows into empathetic, confident, emotionally intelligent adults. As parents, teachers, and mentors, we hold the power to break these outdated patterns — one conscious word at a time.