Will the family structure survive?

God created man and woman. Human beings created the institution of marriage. It evolved after some social churn as a mechanism of social harmony. Sexual desires of humans had to be channelized and regulated to prevent atavistic fights.

The husband and wife are the two bulls (ignore the gender) who draw the cart called marriage, according to the Vedic mantras. The object is to beget children who would preserve dharma. Hence the institution of marriage was held sacred by all societies. It was a means to continue tradition, pass on the traditional knowledge and skills and train good citizens. It facilitated stable economic growth, produced great cultures, produced great men, and gave social security. History shows a long train of illustrious parents and illustrious children.

But, like we surrender some of our freedoms to the state in a political structure, we surrender some liberties in marriage. In traditional marriages there is surrender. The husband and wife tell the word naati-charami, 'I will not go beyond you', promising that they would be loyal to each other in dharma (pursuit of ethical duties), artha (pursuit of wealth) and kama (sexual desire). There is mutual surrender and mutual empowerment in marriage.

Cultural and social values took a beating due to technological change. The individualism of western society has led to unimaginable and strange patterns. It first permitted gay and lesbian marriages, permitted live-in relationships, permitted sex change among children and now marriage between humans and dogs too. The element of surrender almost disappeared.

Should the rest of the world follow the madness of the west? Should there not be a discovery of our own good practices? All go to Tirumala after marriage, but a visit to a spiritual counsellor prior to marriage may lead to more stable marriages.

Social change is also brought about by governments and sometimes by the courts. A very unfortunate judgment came from the Supreme court of India recently. It was ruled that a married woman could make her own sexual choices. By marrying, she has not consented to refrain from sexual relations outside marriage. A husband is not the owner of his wife's sexuality. All the sacred vows made during the marriage yagna stand ridiculed by the court whose vision is inspired by the liberalism of the west.

Indian society seems to be at a crossroads. The flood of OTT films and other assaults on tradition have disinherited the youth from tradition and implanted new values. It is an interesting tug of war between those who value sanctity and those who wish to leave it to the wind.