Alcohol, poverty major causes of marital rows in old city

Shalibanda: Alcohol besides poverty remains biggest reasons for discord amongst married Muslim couples in parts of Old City.

Dowry and domestic violence which earlier went unnoticed amongst the society remains no more concealed and adds to the number of divorces recorded each year.

As per the observation by the counsellors active in this part of the city, contrary to the perception that the community keeps at bay the alcohol, men in some of the households continue to consume and also resort to domestic violence.

Interestingly most of the cases where instant talaq is pronounced is under inebriated condition.

"In earlier generation women used to keep quiet, however, they are more informed now and these kinds of cases are landing up at our door steps.

Sometimes increased discord contributes to the breakup of the marriage, when the man pronounces the talaq in this condition," said Noorjahan Siddiqui, senior counsellor, Operation Peacemaker.

Noorjahan argues that talaq should be given in accordance with sharia and quranic teachings, which says that talaq should be uttered under a condition of sanctity and sober state.

Moreover, three spells at one single go would not be enough, as quran gives clear-cut method, which should be followed.

"Most of the men and women do not even know what is qula and what is talaq and most of the talaqs unfortunately are pronouncements at a single go.

Notwithstanding, the couple wishes to unite again and here comes the so-called solution of halala. When the decision is taken, why take a roundabout," she wonders.

While referring to the solution which could be found under Islamic teachings, the senior counsellor believes that most of the couples, about 99 % understand their wellbeing under the light of Quran.

"The triple talaq in one go needs interpretation, as the Caliph Umar had to execute it under certain circumstances, which cannot set an example for all.

As per Quran there is a time lapse of about a one in each of the spells and there is a chance for reconciliation amongst the couple," she adds.

Noorjahan blames both men and women for blowing out issues of discomfort and creating discord and ending up divorcing each other. Some of the cases she counselled include differences cropping up due to disloyalty of the spouse and sexual harassment meted out by women by in-laws.

"Both men and women are to be blamed for discord in marital life.

They should analyse and introspect amongst themselves, if they want to save marriage.

Once the matter goes to the police the differences only increases," she explains.