10 things you should refrain from telling your children in public

As parents, what we do around our children can leave a lasting impact, but the things we say to them matters just as much.

The phrases we use when speaking to our kids (or even just around them) not only reflect our beliefs about the world, but they also influence the beliefs they develop.

As a parent, Avoid these 10 telling your child in public as these are the toxic phrases which might affect the child's brain psychologically.

1. Stop yelling at your kids in public.

Every parent has instances of anger that they wish they could take back. But berating your kids in public is a double-edged sword, combining the personal attack with public humiliation.

2. You compare them to others.

Sure, you're just trying to motivate them by pointing out the successes or failures of others.

Again, your intentions are noble, but by comparing your child to somewhat else you're telling them that they are not good enough.

Or comparing you are like your father or mother

Not all married couples are happy living together and the bitterness in their relationship often translates into an exchange of unkind words against each other. Some relationships end in separation too. Either ways, kids are a witness to this mutual hostility and criticism. So when you shower your partner's animosity on your kid, that's when he begins to lose respect.

3. You always expect more.

There is a time and place for everything. But, when your child tells you they got a B on a really hard test, it is not the time to say, "That's great. Do you think you can make an A next time?"

Our children want us to praise them for their hard work and success, without having us always look for how to make their performance even better. So if your son tells you his coach thinks he's really coming along with his football training, don't jump in and suggest ways he can do even better. Let your child bask in the praise, minus any ideas for improvement you might have

4. You lose it.

When our kids are struggling to do a good job at something, it can be frustrating to watch. It can also try our patience. But, whatever you do, don't go ballistic on them. If it's just too much for you to watch and hold your tongue, step away until you can calm yourself.

5. You minimize their victories.

Never try to do this ...

This can happen in a couple of ways. First, you just don't realize what a big deal it is to them so you offer halfhearted comments. To prevent this from happening, really tune in. If your child is soft-spoken, you might need to really listen to see if something is important to him. If it is, lavish him with praise.

The other way moms minimize their children's victories is by being too busy or distracted to fully join in the celebration. This one can be tough. You've just walked in the door and need to get dinner started when your daughter wants to show you her 10-page project with a million details. As much as you want to put her on hold, put dinner plans aside and give her the praise she's craving.

6. Stop trying to be the "cool mom" or "cool dad."

We all try to be a super cool mom and a super cool dad.. for this millennial kids they don't need super cool mom or dad rather a good parenting.

Your kids don't need you to be their pal, they need you to be their parent. [Tweet This] Don't try to dress like them or stalk them and their friends through excessive or awkward use of social media. Guide them through their experiences, but give them room.

7. I was much more responsible when I was your age

Every parent nowadays try doing this.. let's not

Comparing your child and giving him an example of what all you were capable of when you were a kid is the first big mistake parents make. Their irritation stems from 'expectations' – expectations of bringing up the 'perfect' kid. Try and recall your shortcomings as a child and what all troubles you bothered your parents with. You are the elder one in the relationship hence you ought to know more. A statement such as this will break your child's confidence.

8. You always end up taking wrong decisions

Don't penalise your kid for being immature. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and it is in fact a part of the learning process. He might have taken up a field of study that doesn't interest you or perhaps working with a company that you're not very proud of, but that doesn't mean you accuse him of the decisions. Your job as a parent is to guide him, not force him to obey your opinions.

9. Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?

This is once again an unreasonable comparison and a common one at that. Avoid seeding in animosity between your children by comparing their abilities. Doing so may create a fissure between the siblings. You don't want your kid to harbour negative feelings for you, hence avoid assessing your kids.

10. Leave me alone!

Adults have huge responsibilities to take care of, responsibilities that children are innocently oblivious of. And there are times when we want to be left alone too. Kids are incapable of understanding the gravity of such situations. An impatient outburst of 'Leave me alone!' can make your child feel neglected, unwanted and depressed at the same time. Show some patience and avoid saying something bad to him.